During break up, separation and divorce, we are tested to the extreme.  Through relationship challenges we gain a chance to test the depth of our spiritual practice. It becomes an opportunity to use the practices and live the situation fully aware and awake. If the practices are well integrated, then we can reflect and act with wisdom and restraint rather than allow the lower, instinctive, fearful self to take over. 

Spiritual practices like meditation, watching speech, paying attention to values and character, are practiced on a daily basis so that they become second nature. The depth of the practice becomes evident when these difficult situations arise. When the practices become second nature, we no longer react, but reflect first and move forward consciously and with greater equanimity. Our faith and Self-confidence remain solid even during the toughest of times.

I made the mistake some years ago of imagining that since I had a regular spiritual practice my life would suddenly even out and there would be no more problems. In one way this has become true. I still face challenges in life. Things don’t always go as I expect or would like. There are still highs and lows. But on an inner level I remain in a place of equilibrium. By going deep and connecting with the atma or the soul self, the outer fluctuations and trials hold less of a pull over me. Where I once allowed fear, anxiety and worry to rule my inner sphere, I now choose to move into a state of acceptance and seek to understand the lessons presented.

If you are experience challenges with a relationship instead of blaming or judging yourself or the other, move deep inside and contemplate. Go deeper and connect with the part of your Self that remains eternal and unchanged. Observe and learn from the situation as a way to grow so that you won’t have to repeat this painful lesson again. Bring love and light into your relationship and into your Self. Listen to the next steps and act with gentleness and care. Being spiritual does not mean being weak, wishy-washy or a pushover.

I’ve found some of the best practices for these challenges include, meditation, repetition of the Divine Name or a sacred word, singing or kirtan, dancing out the drama to get it out of the body, and walking in nature. Treat the other as you’d like to be treated and you will feel satisfied with your character.

Bio: Debra Moffitt is author of Awake in the World: 108 Practices to Live a Divinely Inspired Life. A visionary and teacher, she’s devoted to nurturing the spiritual in everyday life. She leads workshops on spiritual practices at the Sophia Institute and other venues in the U.S. and Europe. Her mind/body/spirit articles, essays and stories appear in publications around the globe and were broadcast by BBC World Services Radio. She has spent over fifteen years practicing meditation, working with dreams and doing spiritual practices. Visit her online at http://www.awakeintheworld.com.