Doing Life Together

It’s girls gone wild with mum leading the way! (Dad left 12 years ago!)

14- year-old Britney Marshall  lives in England with her family. She looks like a normal young teen, except the family photo could easily be mistaken for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Britney is the youngest of five daughters–all blonde and all endowed to the ridiculous! Well, not naturally endowed. Her 53-year-old mother is wondering what she did wrong in raising Britney.

Are you ready for why? Brace yourself, I’m guessing this is not something any of my readers struggle with in terms of their daughters!

It is because Britney may refuse breast implants– a rite of passage among mum and the four sisters. Britney’s mum is worried because young Brit doesn’t want size 32 GG breasts like she has ( I didn’t even know there was such a size! And one daughter is a 34 HH–this must be even bigger). She wants young Brit to follow in her and her sisters’ footsteps, or should we say bra size! Mum loves the look of fake breasts and really hopes her daughter comes around. All her sisters have had breast implants.

The women in Britney’s family boast 13 operations and six pints of silicon. The price tag for all the plastic surgery could put Americans back to work!

The crazy part here is that the kid is the sensible one, saying she wants to focus on school and her future, not her body.

And it gets better, mum also has four boys who are siding with Brit!

So Britney, I’m with your brothers—be different, be yourself!

And mum, take some of the money you have for more surgery and use it to find a good mental health therapist and get a copy of my book, Making Peace With Your Thighs (and other body parts). Read the chapter on Breasts for a little sanity in your thinking.

It’s summer and once again, we are all determined to shed those extra pounds. So, stop staring at that carrot and wishing it was a hot fudge sundae! Something else is going on in your head.

Consider this: Your personality may be making you fat!

Here’s what researchers at the National Institute on Aging found:

1) If you lean towards neuroticism (easily experience negative emotions)

3) And, are low on begin organized and disciplined (well, of course)

2) And are impulsive

3)And are not too agreeable.

4) And had a low quality relationship with your mom when you were a toddler (Pediatrics)

You are more likely to gain weight than people without these traits.

Now does this mean you need a personality make-over? Of course not.Well maybe, but that is really hard to do when things are hard wired into your brain.

Instead, change your thinking, identify overeating triggers and change your behavior. Weight loss is still possible for the personality challenged!

For more help with emotional eating, click on the book cover above, Press Pause Before You Eat.

You’ve heard it and probably said it, “This room looks like a cyclone hit it!”

Ah yes, the familiar, clean up your room…or else, that most parents find themselves regularly chanting. If you feel like your teen is winning the battle of the bedroom, time for new strategy:

1) Stop caring and allow your teen to be a slob. Let the person he or she marries deal with it!

2) Ask nicely but give a reasonable time frame to get the job done. Forget the nagging, lectures, charts.

3) Try explaining that this is not some crazy control issue for you as a parent. Organization really does work in life. You can actually find your clothes and have them wrinkle free when they are hung and folded.

4) Enforce consequences. Set up the if, then rule and stick to it. Use a consequence that makes a difference. Your teen will decide if the consequence is worth the effort.

5) Begin early. OK maybe too late for this child, but you may have others and grand kids. Helping kids clean up their rooms, store toys, etc. at a young age, sets a habit.

6) Use humor, lots of it to break the tension and make your point. Be creative. Perhaps your teen’s room could be used as a family hamper and everyone could throw their laundry on her floor for a few days. Or maybe start bagging the stacks into give aways for the Salvation Army.

Tonight is my high school reunion! I’m not going, but I wish I could. I live in another state that is not within driving distance. I just visited my family on Father’s Day and can’t afford the time to go back again. I could only make one trip home this month and had to decide between my father and former classmates. I chose my dad!

But talking about the reunion brought up a lot of feelings. And while I wasn’t the most popular kid, high school, for me, was really great.

So, here is why I think people should go:

1) You are a grown up now and have nothing to prove to people you see every 10 years or so!

2) You are dying to see how everyone aged. If you look great, flaunt it to those guys who passed you over as a possible girlfriend. Let them see what they missed.

3) You’ve accomplished things in your life that are interesting to share. You may find others who share your interests. For example, I noticed another former classmate is on faculty of a medical school. Would have been interesting to share experiences.

4) You will probably laugh a lot as people share crazy stories and memories.

5) It is always interesting to hear about the path people took. It can be very unexpected–the nerd who became a high powered attorney, the science geek who is now a medical researcher, the athlete who proved he actually had a brain and is now a college professor. New relationships can form.

6) Everyone is invited! This isn’t prom!

7) You now wear make-up and actually know what to do with that frizzy hair.

8) There may be a few jerks–the alcoholic, narcissist, etc., but most people are genuinely nice.

9) You can clear the air if there were misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

10) Just go because you can. Take a risk. Don’t live in the past.

Would you go? You should.

Tonight, I lift my mug that I grabbed at my recent visit (see photo) from a classmate who actually made these for the reunion, and toast you all—Happy Reunion St. Joe High School!

“Sing we hail to alma mater…”

It would have been great to have been there!

Tell me why or why not? Love to hear your take and experiences. The last one I attended was really fun!